I am at work, bored. Yes I have things to do, however, these things are so monotonous. I don’t feel important in the slightest. If I were to leave right now, I don’t think anyone would even know of my absence. It gives me a lot of time to think. I had a hard weekend. #1 I think because I did not have enough sleep. #2 because I was hurt by a friend who probably doesn’t even know it. #3 I am playing softball and I suck. and #4 we don’t a house to call our own, a place to find rest in and even though we have looked and looked are not coming up with anything we feel could be ours.
One thing that I have learned and God really allowed me to see and focus on this weekend, is the blessing of my husband. He is one of the greatest blessings God has given me. It blows me away to think of the connection between our hearts, our minds, our bodies. It is a much greater connection than I have ever experienced with another human being. God has allowed that to happen and I am so very thankful. I feel as although we battle through everyday living together, this and that---little things, he will always be by my side. I never doubt that I can go to him and talk to him when I am hurting, when he has hurt me. It may take me longer than it should but I know that I can go to him. It is different with other relationships. I tend to not want to step on anyone’s toes, to keep things happy, to not rock the boat, to keep my mouth shut when I probably should open it and allow my feelings to come out. Max comforted me this weekend, listened to me when I wanted to talk, talked to me and showed me love when I felt unloved, held me, let me cry on his shoulder, stood by my side. Praise the Lord for times of learning, growing, allowing our connection to become stronger…
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